7 Reasons Why I Hate Las Vegas

by David Webb on January 24, 2012

Las Vegas Tourism

Las Vegas, Nevada — home to good times and great memories. Or is it…?

In This Las Vegas Article You Will Discover:

  • What’s Not Fun About Las Vegas
  • The People You’ll Meet in Sin City
  • Pitfalls To Watch Out For
  • And More!

Let me start by saying Las Vegas, Nevada, is home to wonderful restaurants, fun bars and lounges, amazing shows, great weather and I have personally had some really good times there. (A bachelor party in Las Vegas should be on any guy’s Bucket List.)

But that doesn’t excuse all manner of sins.

Since Las Vegas is not only a hub for entertainment, but for business, I find myself visiting Sin City at least once per year. Recently, I completed my 12th visit to Vegas.

So with that in mind, I’ve compiled 7 Reasons Why I Hate Las Vegas. (Lucky seven, I suppose…)

1. Sweat-Suit Grannies

Despite visions you may have of nouveau Rat Pack-types roaming casinos in tilted fedoras and tailored suits, the Sweat-Suit Granny is by far the most prevalent creature in Las Vegas. Suited head-to-toe in stretchy cotton and sporting an overstuffed fanny pack, this white-haired, diminutive casino dweller spends her day exchanging seats at the all-you-can-eat buffet and the nickel slots — all the while shooting scornful glances toward your disreputable behaviour. Talk about a buzz-kill.

2. Ding-Ding-Dingdingdingdingding….

Slot machines no longer cha-ching out coins like they used to — winners (scoff) receive vouchers for their monies, which they can re-insert or take to the cashier. However, the infernal one-armed bandits still make a phony, electronic “ding-ding-ding” when winnings are paid out. That is in tandem with the “beep-beep-beepity” on every turn, and the “doop-doop-doop-doopdoopdoopdoop” when credits are won. Now imagine these sounds — times a-million. It is an inescapable racket that haunts my dreams for weeks upon my return.

3. Cigarette Smoke

It is everywhere. You reek of it. Your clothes reek of it. Your hair reeks of it. The casinos are swimming in it. Even the outside air reeks of it. Camels, cigarillos, cigars, menthols… you name it, someone is smoking it. Your throat is dry and your lungs hoarse. Just… want… to… breathe…

(Las Vegas isn’t all bad — Click Here to Read My Reasons TO Visit Las Vegas.)

4. Air Freshener

Perhaps even worse than the cigarette smoke is the overpowering, phony, carcinogenic air freshener most casinos pump into their ventilation systems to mask it and every other smell emanating from the populous. (The Venetian is by far the worse offender, I cannot breathe in that casino…) For someone like me, who values fresh air, these perfumes make it feel as if every breath is poison. Automobile exhaust is refreshing by comparison.

5. Fake Big Shots

The Las Vegas dream is sold on the idea that everyone who visits gets to act like a “Big Shot” — like a reality TV star or a hip-hop icon. Basically — like someone they are not. And believe me, Vegas can make this happen for you. You want VIP bottle service at the hottest club in town? You got it. Twenty-four-hour concierge? Yours. Chef’s table at a five-star restaurant? No problem. Just one tiny catch… you have to pay through the nose for all of it. For example — VIP bottle service at a popular nightclub will see you paying $400 or more for a $50 bottle of vodka. You feel like a Big Shot, sure — and your “underlings” laugh all the way to the bank. Then, when you’re out of money… you’re out of prestige. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, chump.

6. Unnecessary Tipping

Don’t start with me! I’m not cheap — I happily tip for service. I always tip restaurant servers, my hairdresser, deliverymen, you name it — if I receive service, I tip. In Las Vegas, though, it’s taken too far. For example: did you know it is illegal for a taxi to stop for you if you flag it down? No, instead, you must have someone call you one, or use the taxi valet in front of most hotels — and for that, you gotta tip out. Every time. And don’t even try to give them a buck, cheapskate. For the legally-required service of blowing a whistle to a taxicab that sits in-wait mere metres from the hotel entrance, the expected tip is $3 to $10. …Sigh… And on it goes.

7. Card-Snappers

Anyone who has been to Las Vegas will know immediately what I’m talking about here. The “Card Snapper” — men and women on the street who try to force business cards for prostitutes into your hands every time you walk past. They snap them against their palms; the hundreds of them creating a cacophony like some perverted cricket orchestra. You find yourself constantly muttering “no, thanks…” over and over again as you make your way down the Strip. No matter how many times you pass them, and say no, they still stick these cards in your face. Snap-snap-snap! (PS: Despite what many people believe, prostitution is, in fact, illegal in Las Vegas.)

Whew. OK — now, about those awesome restaurants…

Three Meals In Las Vegas: A Diner’s Guide

Three Meals In Las Vegas: Part Two

Let’s Be Facebook Friends!

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Grant February 20, 2014 at 06:37

Been to Vegas a few times. I live I Los Angeles on Wilshire. Yes in the city. Vegas sucks big time. It smells. Drinks everywhere. Smokers everywhere (can’t they just hurry up and get cancer already?) white trash everywhere. The heat in the summer.. Ughhh! Really strange conventions everywhere. The porn awards lol. Cheesy shows. Gambling addicts losing their life savings turning to drugs and ending up in prison. Bad outfits everywhere. Loud and obnoxious girls dressed like whores that think they are hot, but are just losers trying to find their next ex husband to financially rape

Ruth Orozco September 9, 2013 at 12:43

Oh People, you are talking about only when you visit here. Dont even try to LIVE here!!! This is the most overrated place in the US. One thing I agree with Obama, “Dont go to Vegas to spend a bunch of money”. LOL Classic.

David Webb June 18, 2013 at 14:03

Um, nope. I don’t live there.

Mike June 18, 2013 at 13:03

Let me guess…..you live in Davenport Iowa?

Michael April 21, 2013 at 04:51

Thanks.

I’m planning a trip to the US. Vegas gets a lot of endorsements from people I know as a place I ‘have to visit’, but I just think I’ll hate it. I’ve done a lot of traveling and generally have a good feel for what I’ll like and what will drive me crazy. Anyway, your comment ” if you don’t think it’s “for you,” then I bet you’re right!” makes perfect sense to me.

David Webb March 18, 2013 at 09:37

I too have had a lot of fun in Vegas – it’s all a little tongue-in-cheek… but “loving” the way casinos smell??? You have gots to be crazy!

christie March 17, 2013 at 09:45

I love how the casinos smell. bellagio is one of my faves. but venetian smells like baby powder, i love it. and just learn some spanish and u can cuss at the card snappers and they leave u alone.

Adelinl December 11, 2012 at 21:36

Las Vegas is a really beautiful place you guys just have been seeing everything negatively! Its a lot of fun, especially when you go out with family and friends. If you don’t like some things there’s other alternatives other than having to their, no ones forcing you to be there! I <3 LAS VEGAS

Izzy September 6, 2012 at 01:24

I have the misfortune of actually living here and I have no words to describe how much I hate this place! It’s full of horrible, fake, incompetent people, has no class or culture. I really hope I can get out of here as soon as possible. And the employment conditions strongly remind a person of the middle ages, only back then things were definitely kept a lot more humane:-). Employees have absolutely no rights in Nevada… It’s a ruthless, brutal city!

JAD February 20, 2012 at 19:23

Is that all? I could write a book on why I hate Las Vegas and will never return. Unfortunately we had to live there for a short time and it was hell on Earth! Nuke it from the planet..corrupt city government and all.

David Webb February 14, 2012 at 16:40

I hear you. I always tell people that if they are curious about Vegas, you should go at least once, just to see it. But if you don’t think it’s “for you,” then I bet you’re right!

Nomadic Samuel February 13, 2012 at 21:29

I think the fake big shots would drive me nuts. I’ve yet to visit Vegas but it’s not my highest priority to be honest.

Scott February 13, 2012 at 12:04

Breathing is overrated. You should think of it as getting free nicotine from all of the people around you! Vegas is there to give baby!

:)

David Webb February 1, 2012 at 19:44

…snap-snap-snap! Ha ha, thanks Chrissy!

Chrissy Travels January 28, 2012 at 16:50

Great list! The card snappers made me laugh out loud. I didn’t get it at first, then quickly remembered. They are SO annoying! Who came up with the idea of hitting the cards anyway?

Thanks!

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